I've been too busy reviewing diced onion and LEGO to keep up with all the films I've been watching recently. Here's a quick rundown of most of the flicks that have had a chance to warp my mind in the last few months. Some were good, some were bad and one was Jumper:
I am Legend (15) - Will Smith is the last man left alive in the crumbling, zombie-infested remains of New York. He attempts to find a cure for zombie-itis while trying not to go mad from isolation.
It's essentially 28 Days Later with a bigger budget, increased action and much, much more Will Smith. Very tense in places. 4/5.
Ghost Rider (15)- That age old dilemma: you've paid Nicolas Cage a whole heap of money to star in your movie and you want to show him off, yet you've cast him as a character with a digitally altered voice and a flaming skull for a head. How do you get your money's worth? Have him wander around looking normal but consumed by angst for most of the movie, of course! Then make all the CGI action scenes entirely over the top to compensate.
Peter Fonda gets handed the role of the Devil himself and yet still manages to turn in a performance barely less comatose than in Thomas and the Magic Railroad.
Nonetheless, it all rattles along in a daft, nonsensical kind of way. Passable. 3/5.
National Treasure 2 - Book of Secrets (PG)- A second dose of Mission: Impossible meets The Goonies. It's a non-stop romp but totally ludicrous. It's about as likely as finding the lost Ark of the Covenant in your sock drawer... only to discover it was put there by Abe Lincoln as a cryptic signpost to King Solomon's mines.
Enjoy it but don't think about it. 3/5.
No Country for Old Men (15) - As with most Coen brothers movies, it starts in the middle, ends in the middle and has lots of middle in between. It's very entertaining middle, though. Just don't expect much closure. 4/5.
Jumper (12) - There must be a great film to be made about a person who can teleport anywhere at will. This isn't it. Makes Ghost Rider look like Faust. 2/5.
The Bourne Ultimatum (12)- Better than the second one but not as good as the first one. Almost devoid of character and memorable moments, however. You might be as well off watching the first one again. 3/5.
Hitman (15) - The best videogame to movie conversion so far? Possibly. As good as playing Hitman: Blood Money on 360? Not even close. 3/5.
Arlington Road (15) - Jeff Bridges starts to think his neighbours are crackpot terrorists. No one believes him. Is he going mad from grief over the death of his wife or is he about to get caught up in a hugely implausible plot to blow up the FBI?
Take a guess. 2/5.
Enchanted (PG) - The kids get to watch a decent movie about a cartoon princess who is banished to the real world. You get to watch Amy Adams. Result. The film is slightly too caught up in cleverly referencing Disney's entire back catalogue when it should be being funny but it's still good.
Like Shrek played straight. 4/5.
That's it for now. Coming soon - a whole load of games that I only played for an hour or so before getting fed up.
Be afraid.
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