Fantastic Four (DVD)

Starring: Jessica Alba in a very tightly fitting outfit and, er... some other people I didn't pay much attention to.

Rated: PG

Story: Four astronauts get caught in a cosmic storm and develop superpowers. They have angst and bicker. Eventually they get to smash things.

Comments: This is mildly entertaining but why can't superheroes just be superheroes any more? Why do they have to have angst and rubbish love lives? Why does the first film in the series have to focus on them coming to terms with their power? Why can't they just start out flying around smashing things saving people? Why? Why? Why?

Explosions: Considering it features a man who flies around on fire, not as many as you might expect.
Predictability: Larger than The Thing.
Mr Man most closely impersonated: Mr Tickle.
Silliest superpower in cinematic history: One that makes Jessica Alba invisible.
Note to makers of future superhero films: Faster pace, better plot, less angst, more smashing. Thank you.

Rating: 3/5.