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Miami Vice (DVD)

Starring: Jamie Foxx (the taxi driver from Collateral), Colin Farrell (the not hugely memorable bloke from quite a lot of things).

Rated: 15

Story: Two vice cops go undercover in order to drive speedboats, act moody and meet women. There's something about exposing a law enforcement mole and taking down a drug baron, but everyone's really just in it for the speedboats.

Comments: I'm slightly too young to remember the TV series. That or there was a physics documentary on the other side. (Boy, was I a cool teenager...) Anyway, I've no real idea how much this has in common with the original but I suspect it's not a lot. Crockett and Tubbs are in it but characterisation is almost non-existent. Crockett (Farrell) is a womaniser, Tubbs (Foxx) is not. They are loyal to their friends and each other. Crockett is a little unhinged. That's about it really. They're reduced to generic action heroes and they could be anywhere half the time. Most of the film isn't set in Miami and some of what is in Miami takes place in a trailer park. At night.

So much for nostalgia. How about the action?

Er... It's nearly two and a half hours long but it's hard to think of an hour's worth of stuff that happens. There's plenty of moving around at high speed but not many stunts. The shoot-out at the end is a confusing mess.

The dialogue isn't up to much either. Everyone has a tendency to mumble nonsense at speed so I had to switch the subtitles on in order to follow things. I say 'follow' but the plot never really goes anywhere and just rattles along from one scene to the next.

Despite all these faults, however, the film is still somehow entertaining. It's atmospheric and full of sunshine, bright lights, loud music, expensive cars and speedboats. Don't expect much, or think about it too hard. Just let the chaos and craziness wash over you and enjoy a couple of hours in another world - a warm, sunny world where everything happens really fast.

Conclusion: It's rubbish but it's good-looking, fast-paced rubbish.

Explosions: Three.
Speedboats: Numerous.
Semblance of reality: None.

Rating: 3/5.

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