Toy Story in Digital 3D

Starring: The voices of Tom Hanks and Tim Allen, a fantastic script co-written by Joss Whedon, and some newly added depth perception.

Rated: PG.

Story: Disney decides that it's simply impossible to have too many 3D computer-animated kids' movies released in one year and sets Pixar to work adding a third dimension to its back catalogue.

Some time later, small children up and down the land scream and swallow their magic glasses in terror as Scud the dog leaps out of cinema screens at them.

Comments: If you're old enough to be able to read this, then you've probably seen Toy Story. If you haven't, then rush out to see it now. It was the first full-length computer animated movie and it's still one of the best. Pixar's output in recent years has become rather ponderous and overblown but Toy Story maintains a fast pace and has excellent dialogue with something for both adults and children. It truly is a classic.

Believe me - I've seen it dozens of times.

When my boys were small, it was their favourite film for a month or two. They watched it at lunch-time and tea-time every day. Over and over. Five years on, however, they couldn't remember anything about it but I heard every line in my head before it came out the speakers...

Without having any real need to pay attention to the words or plot, I was able to concentrate on the 3D effect:

Looking at the screen normally, there's a mild fuzziness to the picture. Putting on the polarised glasses brings everything into focus and introduces an impressive amount of depth. The effect works best on fairly stationary, close-up shots, appearing very convincing. Fast action is quite blurred, though, and landscape shots tend to be divided into distinct planes. It's a huge, full-colour improvement over the old red-and-green glasses, nonetheless.

The 3D is certainly cool but I'm yet to be convinced it's the future. I found it hard work figuring out where to focus at times and wearing the polarised glasses over my normal specs was initially uncomfortable and remained slightly niggly throughout. It will be interesting to see what film-makers achieve with the technology once they've really got to grips with it. Then we'll discover whether it can add some depth to their vision, not just the picture.

As for Toy Story itself, the boys (aged 7 and 9) loved it but Sproglette (aged 5) was less impressed. She could probably have done with some stronger female characters (not to mention some fairies and a mermaid). It didn't help that she refused to keep her glasses on and that she's scared of dogs. Ho well. Even with her sitting whining next to me, it was still great.

Conclusion: Toy Story in all its glory and in your face.

Explosions: A couple.
Quotable lines: Scores. ('We need more monkeys!' is a solution worth suggesting in the face of almost any problem.)
Dodgy 3D moments: A few.
Flying toys?: Two or three (but they're really just falling with style...)
What does 'To infinity and beyond!' actually mean?: Er...

Rating: 5/5.

Mamma Mia! (DVD)

Starring: Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan and Julie Walters.

Rated: PG.

Story: A pretty girl is getting married at her mother's rustic hotel on an isolated Greek island. She invites three of her mum's old boyfriends to the wedding in an effort to find out which one is her dad. This leads to embarrassing misunderstandings, plenty of soul-searching and lots of Abba.

Comments: There's every chance you were forced to watch this by your mum at Christmas. (Serves you right for giving it to her.) In case you managed to escape on this occasion, however, I thought I'd better give you a heads up so that you're prepared for next year.

Most of the movie is quite bearable. There's plenty of sea and sunshine, some great choreography and an excellent performance by Julie Walters. You'll obviously need to enjoy Abba music at least a little but it's not essential to be a huge fan - despite having been a teenager at a time when Abba was hopelessly uncool, I found nearly all the songs familiar and pleasant enough. I even occasionally paused the game I was playing on my DS so I could pay a little more attention to the dancing.

The three dads struggle with singing, though. They just about pull it off but you can tell that Pierce Brosnan in particular is having to try really, really hard.

And then there's the plot...

The scenery and music manage to keep things going for at least the first half of the film but then the story reaches a critical mass of awfulness that's impossible to ignore. At the very moment I realised this, my wife said, "This is where it turns into the kind of film you really hate." Sure enough, a series of half overheard conversations, 'white' lies and miscommunications ensued, reminiscent of especially cringeworthy episodes of Friends. (You know, the ones where Ross is at his most annoying.)

Luckily, I still had my DS handy and managed to phase most of the horror out by whacking orcs over the head with a large axe. Phew...

To top it all, the film presents a very odd view of marriage. Getting married and then travelling the world together constitutes being tied down, apparently, while taking the same trip as an unmarried couple doesn't. Or something... I suppose you shouldn't expect much from a story that's a Swedish version of Frankenstein's monster, constructed entirely of Abba songs...

Conclusion: You really wouldn't want to have to give this your full attention.

Explosions: None.
Cast members who can sing: Most.
Cast members who can barely sing: Three.
Cast members who can't both sing and move at the same time: Colin Firth.
Abba songs spliced together in a desperate attempt to make a coherent story: Lots.

Rating: 2/5.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (VHS)

Starring: Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Rizzo the Rat, The Great Gonzo and (a presumably extremely cash-strapped) Michael Caine.

Rated: U.

Story: It's Christmas Eve in nineteenth century London and Ebenezer Scrooge (Caine) is as mean and miserly as usual towards his bookkeeper, Bob Cratchit (Frog). When he returns home, however, Scrooge is visited by a succession of spirits who show him his past, present and future in an effort to reveal to him the error of his ways and release his inner Santa.

Comments: Yep, it's Christmas already. Our tree is up and covered in tinsel. The first cards have arrived. The plastic birds which tweet carols have fresh batteries. I even made the mistake of buying some gum-backed strips of shiny card, teaching the children how to make paper chains and then leaving them alone for half an hour. I came back to discover they'd been rather enthusiastic and the entire lounge was buried under strings of slimy, paper loops which had been licked to within an inch of completely dissolving.

Last year, our advent viewing at Sunday lunch was the BBC production of The Box of Delights. This year we dug out The Muppet Christmas Carol. We put it in the slot with some trepidation, unsure how the production would have aged and mildly concerned that the tape might have biodegraded.

Luckily, the film is still fantastic (and, somewhat to our surprise, our videoplayer still works). There's plenty of slapstick, some funny lines and a good helping of the original book. Scrooge and his family are played by real people and the spirits of Christmas are specially designed creations. The rest of the cast is made up of the regular muppet crew.

The most noticeable difference between the film and the book (apart from Tiny Tim being a cuddly frog, obviously) is that Jacob Marley has a brother, Robert, to fit the two grumpy, old muppets into the show. Gonzo also narrates as Dickens himself with Rizzo acting as comic sidekick.

The main downside is that it's a musical and a couple of the songs aren't that great. Well, actually, none of them are particularly good but most have interesting stuff going on in the background. Caine can't sing, though, and occasionally struggles to act. (Although, in his defence, he does spend most of the film surrounded by scene-stealing muppets, so he was probably more than happy just to get out with his sanity and a pay-cheque.)

All in all, The Muppet Christmas Carol has stood the test of time well but, weirdly, it also looks older than it really is. Go figure. Maybe it's the fuzzy VHS-o-vision, maybe it's cloudy memories of watching Miss Piggy as a seven-year-old or maybe it's merely the sad realisation that they don't make them like this anymore. Who knows? Search it out and remember how kid's films used to be.

Conclusion: Better than a whole host of CGI movies involving cute, furry penguins/squirrels/sharks/robots/zebras/llamas/wombats. (Delete as appropriate to whatever you've had the misfortune to watch recently.)

Explosions: None... just a flaming rat.
Roasted chestnuts: Some.
Christmas: Lots.
Snow: Heaps.
Swedish chef: Not enough.

Rating: 4/5.

Stardust (DVD)

Starring: Claire Danes (the vet from Terminator 3), Charlie Cox, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert De Niro, Sienna Miller & Ricky Gervais.

Rated: PG.

Story: In a small Victorian-esque town, Tristran (Cox) attempts to win the heart of the love of his life (Miller) by tracking down a fallen star and bringing back a piece. This leads him into the magical kingdom of Stormhold which is hiding through a gap in a dry-stone wall.

Before long, he's competing with evil witches, murderous princes and gender-confused pirates to claim the prize.

Comments: This is a great fairy tale for the whole family. There are some lessons on identity, ambition and dreams but the film never takes itself too seriously. Whimsical humour mixes with beautiful scenery, restrained special effects, decent action and a whole load of imagination.

Apart from a handful of minor imperfections, the film is superb from beginning to end. Claire Danes over-emotes on occasion in an annoying, head-bobbing kind of way. Also Tristran turns from zero to hero rather unconvincingly - it's too fast to be believable but not over-played enough to quite work as parody. Oh, and Ricky Gervais is in it. (Fortunately, he only turns up for a couple of scenes before coming to a sticky end but you'll still want to slap him.)

These niggles are only really apparent because the rest of the film is so fantastic, however. Go watch Stardust now.

Conclusion: Almost as good as a sequel to The Princess Bride.

Explosions: Only one but a host of other effects compensate.
Michelle Pfeiffer's make-up: Thick.
Suitable for the wife?: Definitely.
Suitable for the kids?: Probably. (Slapstick and magic will keep them entertained but under-fives will need a cuddle in the scary bits.)
Suitable for inhabitants of Ipswich?: Maybe... although they might take one bit a little personally...

Rating: 5/5.

Thomas and the Magic Railroad (DVD)

Starring: Peter Fonda, Mara Wilson & Alec Baldwin.

Rated: U but I'm not sure why - it's unsuitable for viewing by human beings of any age.

Story: On the Island Of Sodor, evil diesel trains are attempting to take over. Thomas, the other steam engines and Mr Conductor (Baldwin) must stop them. This involves some very unconvincing models and a hunt for magic gold dust. Meanwhile, back in the normal world, Lily (Wilson) must unravel the secret behind her grandfather's (Fonda) unhappiness. It transpires he's contractually bound to appear in a dreadful kid's movie and can't find a way out.

Comments: Admittedly, the Thomas the Tank Engine stories are pretty dull but I'm not sure spicing them up with slapstick, magic and telephones made from flowers was really the way to go. The whole thing is still extremely tedious but will probably annoy Thomas fans along with everyone else.

The acting is pretty awful. Fonda only seems half alive for much of the movie while Baldwin tries too hard. Wilson out-performs both of them. Actually, even the model trains out-perform Fonda...

Conclusion: I'm off to hide our copy so the kids can't find it.

Explosions: None.
Liberties taken with the source material: Several.
Number of times the kids have made me watch this: Plenty.
Number of times they've paid attention for more than ten minutes: Two.

Rating: 1/5.

Pixar's WALL-E

Starring: Pixar's usual fantastic animation and artwork... and very few words.

Rated: U.

Story: The Earth has been made uninhabitable thanks to a build up of toxic rubbish and humanity has headed to the stars. After centuries, only one of the robots left behind to clear up remains operational - WALL-E. He has a pet cockroach and longs for love (not with the cockroach, I hasten to add).

Then, one day, a probe arrives from space containing the robot of his dreams...

Comments: You have to give Pixar credit for pushing boundaries. While other studios have been playing catch-up with the quality of their animation and scripts, Pixar have moved on to making movies with feeling and depth and meaning. There are no overweight pandas falling down stairs in comic fashion here. The first half hour has almost no verbal dialogue. Pathos is created through emotive movement, sweeping vistas and archetypal imagery. Great effort is extended in making us care for an abandoned robot on a desolate world and to empathise with his faltering attempts to find companionship. It...

Oh, goodness, I was bored. You know, like that bit halfway through Cars where the pace turns to treacle and you just want something (anything!) to happen. After twenty minutes of WALL-E I was seriously worried whether I could last another hour or so of a lonely robot wandering brown landscapes.

Fortunately, the film picks up. WALL-E and his girlfriend reach an interstellar cruise-liner full of obese people and chaos ensues. Everyone falls over a lot. Stuff happens.

It's pretty predictable stuff, though, and there's still not much dialogue. There are a couple of messages - one ecological and another about avoiding dependency on technology - but they're so incredibly broad and obvious that the lesson which actually sticks in the mind is to not become so fat that you can't roll over.

All this puts rather a lot of pressure on the slender and unlikely plot. The story centres around a small plant that WALL-E finds on Earth. It's the first sign that the planet is habitable again.

One plant.

Exactly how toxic would things have to get for every weed on Earth to die? My back yard is entirely slabbed over and gets occasionally sprayed with herbicide - nevertheless, it's got all manner of flora sprouting from it. If I leave it the entire summer, I have to cut a path through with a machete and keep an eye out for overweight pandas.

Fighting over a single plant feels very contrived.

There are several further believability issues but it would be picky to mention them. Any other animated film could get away with these things. Maybe I was put in an unreceptive mood by the unexpectedly slow start. Perhaps, though, in making a world that looks real, Pixar made me expect more realism in the events.

The rest of my family certainly enjoyed the film much more than I did. The boys couldn't decide whether they liked this or Prince Caspian best. Personally, my favourite bit was the short film which came on first called Presto which involves a magician having a slapstick altercation with his hungry rabbit. It was crammed with more action and ideas than the feature.

Conclusion: If the kids want to watch this every day for a month when it comes out on DVD, at least the lack of speech will make it easy for me to ignore.

Explosions: Occasional and small.
Dialogue: Occasional and brief.
Artistic moments: Frequent and slightly too long.
Overweight pandas falling down the stairs: None.
Overweight humans rolling down a hill: Not enough...

Rating: 3/5.

Kung Fu Panda

Starring: Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Jackie Chan, etc, etc.

(They all do fine but you won't recognise half of them until the credits. It's like the makers rounded up every famous name they could, in an effort to maximise their Google hits. Was it really necessary?)

Rated: PG.

Story: It's the classic tale of an over-weight panda overcoming adversity to learn Kung Fu in an attempt to save his village from an evil snow leopard and discover his inner butt-kicking Dragon Warrior.

Comments: Contrary to expectations, this isn't awful or full of fart gags. Admittedly, most of the laughs stem from a fat panda falling over but, in a sea of indistinguishable computer-animated movies, sometimes you have to find amusement where you can...

Kung Fu Panda is actually one of the better CGI films I've seen in a while. It's fast-paced and avoids the dull over-indulgence of efforts like Cars and Ratatouille. More than that, it takes advantage of the whole animated, cuddly animal concept. It features a host of outlandish and physically impossible feats and fights. Done with human beings (animated or otherwise) it would look stupid but because it's all snakes and tigers and, er, pandas, suspension of disbelief is much easier. It's possible to sit back and enjoy the spectacle without sniggering at the daftness.

The only real disappointment is the somewhat confused message. It appears to be, 'You don't need to be special to be special.' Except the story is all about a panda who can learn Kung Fu in an afternoon - that's pretty special whatever way you look at it. Meanwhile, the characters who've put the effort in and trained all their lives to make themselves special get smacked into the dirt. Eh?

Ho well, the plot moves along quickly enough to plaster over the cracks. For a movie you feel probably stemmed from a title brain-storming session, it's pretty entertaining.

Writer 1: Dare-devil Dinosaur?
Producer: Too generic.
Writer 2: Rodeo Ostrich?
Producer: Too niche.
Writer 1: Karate Kid?
Producer: Been done.
Writer 2: Not with goats.
Producer: Forget it.
Writer 1: Parachute Elephant?
Producer: Pardon?
Writer 2: Judo Space Monkey?
Producer: Too obvious.
Writer 1: Kung Fu Panda?
Producer: Yes! Go make it! Do you think we can get Jackie Chan involved?

Conclusion: If the kids decide to watch this every day for a month when it comes out on DVD, I can live with that.

Explosions: Some comic firework accidents.
Infeasible displays of acrobatics: Countless.
Wise old turtles: One.
Points made using peach metaphors: Several.
Noodles: Plenty.

Rating: 4/5.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Starring: Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf, Karen Allen, Ray Winstone, John Hurt and Jim Broadbent.

Rated: 12A. (My eight-year-old was a little scared in places but the main issue was that the historical setting and exposition left him totally lost. Although he enjoyed the film, he spent most of it asking me what was going on.)

Story: Having made a huge mountain of cash from the Star Wars prequels, George Lucas decides it's time to start recycling other ideas. Leaving Howard the Duck for a different occasion, he opts for a fourth Indiana Jones film. He wakes Harrison Ford from his afternoon nap and they get
creakingcracking.

The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is set in 1957 and features Soviet enemies, McCarthyism, a young sidekick, an old flame, some hugely unlikely escapes and a cast-off plot from a science fiction B-movie.



Comments: It's a new Indiana Jones film! Hurrah! It actually looks and feels like one as well, with proper stunts, returning characters, back references and plenty of whip-cracking, tomb-raiding action. Harrison Ford even almost manages to not look too old.

Unfortunately, the film is self-conscious of these things with rather too much pointed looking back and a selection of 'we're not as young as we used to be' jokes. Meanwhile, some preposterous action sequences and the ropey plot are played straight as if there is nothing remotely dubious about them. Since after only a quarter of an hour, Indy should really have died twice and the story has already moved into improbability, it's a case of sitting back and just soaking in the atmosphere.

Happily, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull isn't awful but it does rather trade on nostalgia to get by. Without the history of the franchise behind it, it wouldn't stand up to much scrutiny - it doesn't make sense in places and is totally daft in others. Still, it is a new Indiana Jones movie... If you liked the other ones, you'll be entertained by this. There's no need to rush out to the cinema, though. Feel free to wait for the DVD release.

Conclusion: Better than the Star Wars prequels but not as good as the LEGO.

Explosions: A single very, very large one.
References to the previous films: Dozens.
Number of bullets fired at Indiana Jones by crack Soviet troops: Hundreds.
Number of bullets that actually hit Indiana Jones: None.
Disparity in these numbers: Large.
Improbable uses of a fridge: One.

Rating: 3/5.

Bridge to Terabithia (DVD)

Starring: Terminator 2, the older brother from Zathura, Trillian and the inflating gum-chewer from Charlie and the Cholocate Factory.

Rated: PG.

Story: Jesse (Josh Hutcherson) is in the fifth-grade. He feels under-appreciated at home, gets bullied at school and has a crush on his music teacher (Zooey Deschanel). Life isn't great. Then he meets new girl Leslie (Anna Sophia Robb). She's cute but crazy as an umbrella made of cheese. They create an imaginary, fantasy kingdom in the middle of the woods. Their experiences there help them deal with and overcome their everyday problems.

Comments: If all you know about Bridge to Terabithia is what you saw in the adverts, then this isn't the film you're expecting. It's not the Golden Labyrinth of Narnia where a ten-year-old decides that life sucks but then discovers a magical world where they learn to value themselves and others. This is a movie where a ten-year-old decides that life sucks and then discovers that life really, really sucks but learns to get over it by imagining trolls.

On its own terms, it's an affecting tale of children struggling to cope with isolation, criticism and bereavement. It's difficult to view Bridge to Terabithia without a host of expectations brought about by countless other films and its own advertising campaign, however. These expectations make the few short sequences of CGI confusing. I'm pretty sure the animated sections are there just to show the audience what the kids are imagining and I don't think they're meant to imply that the magical kingdom is 'real' but I'm not certain because I'm so used to films with actual elves and pixies, talking lions and Quidditch. I kept having to suspend my suspension of disbelief. This was slightly painful. The problem was made worse by my children constantly asking what was going on and which bits were pretend. I simply didn't know the answers, which simply made them ask all the harder.

Then the last half an hour turned out to be incredibly sad and I had to deal with a whole load of other questions.

I spent much of the film wondering where it was going. Even the end left me bemused because it's hard to work out the message. I suspect the general idea is that we all need a safe place to hide away from the world and that it's good to pretend and imagine. Unfortunately, the beautiful CGI blurs the line between a tactical withdrawal into day-dream and a full-scale retreat into delusion.

My eldest is nearly eight and the film was a bit over his head. He's never much been into make-believe, which didn't help, but the movie is probably more suitable for older children. Bear in mind that they could find it emotionally traumatic, though, so you might want to watch it with them.

Conclusion: A decent family drama that doesn't do what it says on the tin.

Explosions: None.
Bullies: Some.
Ending: Confused.
Sympathetic teacher, crotchety teacher and annoying younger sister: All present and correct.
Killer squirrels: Several... or none. Or maybe several and none. Who knows if they're really there? Perhaps they're quantum squirrels - only there if you think they're there and spending the rest of the time hanging out with Schrodinger's Cat. Don't ask me - I'm off to watch The Goblet of Fire.

Rating: 3/5.

Holes (DVD)

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Jon Voight, Sigourney Weaver, Patricia Arquette & The Fonz.

Rated: PG.

Story: Young Stanley Yelnats winds up in a juvenile detention centre in the middle of a desert even though he's innocent. He blames a curse that his great-great-grandfather brought upon his family but, as fate would have it, he is in exactly the right place to set straight a number of things which have been wrong for a very long time...

Comments: This film is hard to pin down. It's not a comedy, it's not a serious drama, it's not an action adventure. It's The Shawshank Redemption with a whimsical tone, children, a touch of magic, cowboy flashbacks, buried treasure and poisonous lizards. It's also very good.

The cast is excellent and the story is enthralling, if a little odd. Yeah, it's packed full of coincidences but they're convincingly passed off as destiny. The whole thing hangs together well without feeling forced. In fact, it's a master-class in how to hold information back from an audience without confusion or trickery. Events play out in different times and places, gradually becoming intertwined and leading to a satisfying conclusion.

The movie was a little over the heads of my kids but children of nine or ten shouldn't have a problem. Even if your kids aren't old enough, rent it for yourself.

Conclusion: Quirky but fantastic.

Explosions: None.
Coincidences: Lots.
Holes in the ground: Hundreds.
Thing you never thought you'd hear The Fonz say: 'Honey? Could you smell these shoes?'

Rating: 5/5.

Pixar's Ratatouille

Starring: Some stunning computer generated animation, a rat and Paris but not Mrs Incredible. (Drat).

Rated: U

Story: Remy has a special talent for cooking and dreams of creating new culinary delights. Only problem is, he's a rat. After a series of mishaps, however, he finds himself separated from his clan and loitering around the kitchens of a famous Parisian restaurant.

Alfredo Linguini works as a garbage boy in the restaurant. He's not a rat. He's just a total klutz who can't cook to save his life.

The pair team up in an unlikely fashion and, erm... do some cooking.

Comments: Yes, we actually went to the pictures and saw a recent release! But don't worry, it's not the end of the world or anything. This improbable event is explained by two facts:

1. It was a kid's movie.
2. The grandparents paid.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - if you're planning to have children but don't have any yet, go to the cinema now, while you still can.

Off you go.

For the rest of you, Ratatouille is a big improvement over Pixar's last effort, Cars, but it's not one of the company's best. Although the artwork and animation are excellent as always, the plot is crazy and revolves around rats and food.

Having had a mouse invasion in the house recently, seeing rodents scurry over kitchen work surfaces was a little too close to home. My mind kept turning to Rentokil and bleach.

On top of this, I'm not a foodie. I have plain cheese sandwiches for lunch every day. If I'm being adventurous, I add mustard but usually I can't be bothered. I'm just not fussed. Remy's obsession with new taste sensations entirely passed me by. This made the film drag occasionally, especially in the middle where the story wanders a little.

As for the moral of the film? Possibly, it's that 'rats are people too', but it was probably meant to be more along the lines of 'anyone can follow their dreams'. Or something. It's hard to tell. The maxim that 'anyone can cook' is held in high esteem by the heroes of the film and yet the events of the story seem to affirm that 'anyone with a special talent for cooking can cook (even if they're a rodent)'. Which isn't quite the same thing. Apparently, the ham-fisted and hopeless amongst us can only cook if they have a particularly talented rat tugging on their hair...

Still, the action sequences are fantastic and the scenery is beautiful. Just a shame about the script.

You might want to wait until it's being shown cheap on a Saturday morning.

Conclusion: Decent but more on a par with A Bug's Life than The Incredibles or Toy Story. Give it an extra point if you're really into food, rats, France or dumb plots.

Explosions: None.
Female characters: Two (and one of those is a short-sighted lunatic with a shotgun).
Food: Plenty.
Rats: Swarms.
Number of times I'm likely to be forced to watch this on DVD: Countless.

Rating: 3/5.

Night at the Museum (DVD)

Starring: Ben Stiller, Carla Gugino (the parole officer in Sin City), Dick Van Dyke, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Robin Williams, Ricky Gervais, Audrey from 24, huge amounts of CGI and a monkey.

Rated: PG

Story: Larry (Stiller) needs a steady job to impress his son and placate his ex-wife. All he can get is a night guard post at the Museum of Natural History. To his surprise, however, all the exhibits come alive at night and he has to keep the peace while making sure he doesn't get eaten. Some mildly amusing situations ensue...

Comments: I feel some condemnation with faint praise coming on. How about:

I managed to persuade the boys to watch this at teatime one day and it was a lot more enjoyable than the old Pokemon episodes they really wanted.

Yes, I think that covers it.

The first twenty minutes or so of scene-setting and character development are pretty superfluous. This film is really all about walking museum exhibits causing chaos and it doesn't get going until Larry starts his first shift. After that there's a decent mix of the kind of action and humour that fills TV schedules on bank holiday afternoons. The special effects are excellent but, then again, we expect nothing less these days.

The cast is full of famous faces padding out their CVs with a family film. Stiller puts in a commendable amount of effort but just is slightly irritating. Gugino does her best in an extremely generic love-interest role. Dick Van Dyke is simply glad to have some work. Coogan and Gervais are as annoying as always. Robin Williams is now made of schmaltz. The monkey out-acts most of them.

Not that the kids cared - they really enjoyed it. Sproglette needed some cuddles to see her through some of the more 'perilous' moments, though.

Conclusion: A decent film for children of primary school age but not a classic.

Explosions: Tiny.
Dinosaurs: Skeletal.
Plot: Slim.
Technical wizardry: Plenty.
Pokemon: None.

Rating: 3/5.