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Disney's Princess magazine

Disney's Princess magazine.

Price: £2.50 every two weeks.

Contents:
  • 44 page magazine featuring, 'Enchanting princess stories, pretty colouring pages & lovely things to make and do.'
  • A tacky, plastic gift (usually bling).
Age: I'm guessing this is aimed at four and five-year-olds. Puzzles include simple mazes, counting questions and a wordsearch containing essential vocabulary such as 'TIARA', 'SHOES' and 'BALLGOWN'.

Comments: Campaigners have got it all wrong. Newsagents' shelves are upside down. The lad's mags with semi-naked ladies on the cover are much more likely to warp my mind than those of my kids. Putting them up high at my eye-level isn't too handy. Meanwhile, this kind of nefarious, pink brain-rot goes just where my girl can see it.

Cheers.

Don't get me wrong - there's some decent Disney Princess merchandise out there. Sproglette got a fantastic book/music-player combo for Christmas that I'll review if I ever find it for sale anywhere. That phone thing isn't bad either. This publication, however, is somewhat worrying.

Yes, Disney's Princess magazine - 'Where every girl can be a princess!' Read about Beauty and the Beast organising a party, Cinderella opening the royal gardens to the public and Jasmine putting on a parade. Cheer with the common people. Gasp at the pink decor. Marvel at the amount of corseting that must be involved.

It's all just a little bit scary. (Not as bad as the Christmas annual, though. That has Jasmine brightening up the slums of Agrabah by sprinkling them with sequins).

Dubious social messages and gender stereotyping aside, the puzzles are OK and there's plenty to colour in. The instructions on how to make things are dreadful, however. Want to make a crown? Well, what you have to do, apparently, is 'Cut a crown shape from card and decorate it with jewels.' Genius, eh? (Oh, and that's shiny, pink card, by the way, in case you were in any doubt. Preferably, you should use pink glue and pink scissors as well.)

The jewellery is as durable as it appears but it does look quite cute when worn. At least, it does when worn by a small child. If she insists on you wearing it, pink had better be your colour.

I do wonder about the brain-washing effects this might have on my girl but maybe I shouldn't worry - Sproglette has just gone through the magazine scribbling over the princess' eyes with black felt-tip 'so they can't see'. Maybe we'll turn her into a physicist yet (with pink shoes and a tiara).

Disney Princess jewellery.
Four rings - that's a lot of bling for one small girl.

Conclusion: You might want to humour your little princess every once in a while but think carefully before letting doting grandparents get her a subscription.

Pros:
  • Features both Belle and The Little Mermaid. (Note to self: Must get out more.)
  • The 'free' jewellery will probably hold its appeal for longer than the inflatable Fimble (or whatever else) that's stuck to the cover of CBeebies Magazine.
  • Er...
Cons:
  • Contains scary, anorexic role models who seriously need to get a grip.
  • Make-it-yourself pages are ludicrous.
  • Will have you sharpening a guillotine in no time.
  • Just wrong in so many ways...
Rating: 2/5.

Disney Princess Songs book and music-player.
In contrast, this is actually really great. Good luck trying to find one on eBay.

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